


I've lost more than a heart can take, but I found you on the way

by Yellowpillows



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 07:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20170183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellowpillows/pseuds/Yellowpillows
Summary: Her love was different.Not-Timeline Compliant





	I've lost more than a heart can take, but I found you on the way

Natasha’s always known her version of love was different than other people’s. Despite being taught that ‘Love was for children’ at a young age there was always a voice in the back of her head. There was always a voice questioning that statement. 

_ Her love was different. _

Natasha’s way loving was kicking back and watching an old black and white film with Steve. It was spending time with Clint’s family and throwing a ball around with Nathaniel. It was listening to Bruce and Tony’s science jargon even though she couldn’t care less as long as the technology worked. It was going on long hikes with Wanda and Rhodey and actually taking time to enjoy the view at the top. It was checking up on Bucky when he seemed distant and playing video games with Thor (she always refused to play fortnite though). 

_ Her love was different _

It’s letting Clint’s kids break the rules when she babysat. The problem was the rules, the kids were always so fun. They were filled with sunshine, happiness, and innocence and Natasha would do anything to protect them from the world. They have her wrapped around their fingers and maybe she let the kids run through the house with water guns, she’d deny it when Clint questioned her later. She makes sure to mop up with a big smile on her face because hearing their laughter ringing out through the house reminds her of why she fights. 

It’s letting Lila ask her question after question about being a superhero. She’s still getting used to being called one but she answers truthfully. 

“How do you go to the bathroom in your combat suit?”

“I hold it,”

“How do you keep so many weapons on such a tight suit?”

“Tape.”

“Don’t you ever get cold?”

“I’m russian.”

Natasha’s thoroughly amused that the girl seems to only have questions about her suit of all things. Suppressing her laughter, she manages to answer all of her questions patiently before making her go to bed.

_ Her love was different _

It’s staying up until 4 in the morning sitting on the floor of the bathroom with Thor. It’s understanding that he’s drowning and there’s nothing she can do but sit by his side. It’s reminding him to eat and dragging him out of bed to go do yoga with her. He pretends to hate it but she knows he’s thankful for the distraction. Sometimes she looks into his eyes and sees so much pain that she would do anything to take it away from him.

She stays because she knows what it feels like. It's like a void. A dark void. A never ending dark void that consumes everything, so your left feeling nothing. The emptiness is always there; he’s good at hiding it, it’s a requirement of the job. 

  
_ Her love was different _

It’s letting Wanda steal her leather jackets and turning a blind eye. It’s showing her that she has a place among them, among their family. It’s Saturday morning brunch and Tuesday morning runs, sometimes Wanda makes Thor join although she’s not quite sure if  _ gods need to exercise? _

After the snap it’s catching her up on everything she missed even the stupid tv shows that were her guilty pleasure?

“Wait so he died?”

“Yep, and then he was revived,”

“And then he died again?”

“Yep,”

“Wow,”

“I know shocker,”

“I’m glad I didn’t waste my time watching that then,”

_ Her love was different _

It’s doing normal stuff with Steve and reassuring him that they’d probably have time to get through a game of mini-golf before some world wide crisis occurred again. It’s playing him 4 times because he refuses to believe that Natasha could be better than him at Mini-Golf.

“It’s just Golf Nat,”

“Then why are you getting so worked up over losing then?”

“I’m not worked up it’s just a stupid game,”

“It’s not stupid if I win,”

It’s accidentally adding up her scores wrong and dragging a very elated Steve back to the tower. It’s suffering through his excited bragging everytime he sees her but it’s nice to see him smile. They all carry the weight of the world on their backs and it’s nice to see Steve lighten up once in a while. 

_ Her love was different. _

It’s back and forth banter with Tony while he fixes up her widow bites. It’s grabbing lunch with Pepper and making sure she doesn’t overwork herself. It’s reading Morgan the 17 bedtime stories that she requests with an adorable pout on her face. It’s letting Morgan curl up in her lap and fall asleep on her chest to the sound of the TV after she has a nightmare. 

It’s going to family dinners after missions even though she’s battered and bruised, because it’s worth it. It’s letting Pepper patch her up after dinner when she struggles to get out of her chair. It’s smiling at Morgan so she doesn’t scare her.

_ Her love was different. _

And perhaps that’s the reason her and Maria fit so well. Maria never asks her to be something she’s not. Maria who is calm and calculated, who goes out of her way to make Natasha feel safe and understood.

Maria who she doesn’t think twice about falling in love with. 

  
  
  


It starts off as a friendship, the guys invite Maria out for drinks and they hit it off. Friendly banter turns into hangouts and eating take-out with Maria between missions. Beating Maria at MarioKart turns into late night spar sessions and those turn into sweaty bodies pressed against each other without inhibition. 

That’s the way it stays for a good amount of time. Natasha doesn’t remember when things shifted, when they began to seek refuge in each other. 

Their relationship stays strictly physical and they don’t bring it up, it’s nice. No feelings, No strings, easier for Natasha to pretend that she doesn’t feel the urge to have more. 

It isn’t until Natasha goes on a 6 mission streak, on top of being overworked, her last mission goes FUBAR and she comes back scraped up when she realizes. 

She realizes. That the only thing she wants to go to Maria’s quarters and sleep for 12 hours. 

_ Her love was different.  _

It’s making Maria coffee when she stays up late to finish up paperwork, it’s trying not to fall asleep but failing dramatically  _ (not that she minds Maria carrying her to bed) _ . It’s learning to communicate and voice her anxieties to Maria. It’s letting Maria look her over when she refuses to go to the medbay after a mission.

_ Her love was different, her name is Maria and she’s the strongest person Natasha knows.  _

_ Her love was complete. _

  
  



End file.
